the latest

the latest

good morning everyone,

.....just a little update on me to my faithful readers...yesterday I received my 5th chemo infusion since my last CT scan (my 28th overall) and I must say that I don't feel as overwhelmed by the side effects as I have the past few times, granted I've only eaten two pieces of toast and drank some Gatorade in the past 16 hours or so, due to nausea, i'm not really that hungry either.......I'm happy that I got to take Maritza to her 2nd softball practice of the season yesterday evening, I tried not to think about the side effects for a good hour and mustered up enough energy to be out there with her and it felt great to watch her and her 9 teammates to go through the various drills that the coaches were giving them....

today I will be doing some telecommuting from home for work so that should keep me rather busy....during the times I feel good enough to sit at the computer at least...I'm blessed that my employer has granted me the flexibility of working from home whenever I don't feel good enough to come into the office....but I do indeed miss the social aspect of the workplace at times....gets kinda lonely if I'm here by myself for more than a few days at a time but I make the best of it, by listening to music, etc. and keeping my mind focused......

recently I submitted my photo and application to hopefully be one of the few models (hehe) to pose shirtless in calendar that has been produced the past few years called the "Colondar"...it features other strong survivors like myself that have endured a colon resection and have a lovely 8 inch or so scar running down the length of their abdomen like the one I have and gives a brief summary of what each person has been through....well unfortunately I was not chosen to model for the 2008 calendar as they received over 150 applications and decided to go with persons that have mostly completed cancer treatment, which they explained as what they felt most comfortable doing because attending the calendar shoot would involve spending several days in New York and they wouldnt want to potentially pull anybody that was still receiving treatment....away from treatment....well so much for that.....

a few days ago though I received an email from one of my contacts at the Colon Cancer Alliance indicating that Katie Couric was looking for 20 or so persons to profile in a nationwide story about colon cancer so being the "media whore" that I am..hahaha...I went ahead and submitted my photo along with a little personal info and a signed release form.....hopefully I get chosen as I would love to tell my story and what better way than on nationwide tv....

...hey...has anybody dowloaded that MySpace instant messenger yet?...I did a few days ago to talk to directly to my cousins, and fam that live in other countries and it works out pretty well so if anybody has it please feel free to hit me up if you wanna message back and forth in real-time rather than waiting for messages through the mail system to get sent back and forth......just thought I'd throw that out there......

hmm...lets see what else...oh yeah also towards the end of last week I finally received those Air Max CW (Chris Webber) Nike's from 1995 that I ordered through ebay....I'm loving them indeed because I always wanted them back in the day although I must say that the picture I saw of them before ordering was a little deceiving, but nevertheless the little wear and tear that they do have seems consistent with what one would expect to see in a pair of generally well kept athletic shoes that were worn a few times and then stored away for the next 12 years until lucky me got to take them off their hands.....

and thats the news for now

much love

nate

This is me.....

so yeah this is awesome...now I have my own blog in addition to my myspace page www.myspace.com/mixedn8 ......My Name is Nate Barrell. I am 31 years old and live in Sacramento, CA. I am the single parent of an 8 year old daughter named Maritza and a 4 year old Shiz-Tzu named Nena. Currently I am courageously and bravely battling the Stage 4 Metastatic Colon Cancer that I was diagnosed with in January 2006. I have received all of my treatment and care at the Kaiser Permanente Hospital located at the South Sacramento location. They have been awesome thus far in handling my situation and making sure that I receive the proper treatment that I need, and I am quite fond of the helpful staff that ensure my visits run as smooth as possible. Upon initial diagnosis I had many questions regarding my future, health, and treatment so I made a decision to find out all I can to beat this thing despite the tremendous odds against me that say I have an 8% percent chance of surviving 5 years even with treatment. My research has included bombarding my oncologist with numerous questions, consulting with a very well respected nationally known oncologist at the University of San Francisco, internet research including but not limited to many visits to the American Cancer Society and Colon Cancer Alliance websites. I have attended a conference put on by the Colon Cancer Alliance that included presentations by several oncologists and others that specialize in the field of cancer. I try to share the information I find with family, friends, coworkers, acquaitances, myspace friends, colon cancer alliance buddies, and anybody else who is interested in the information that I have to share and I am always more than welcome to share my own personal story.

Living with and having cancer, especially in such a serious case as mine is extremely frightening as it affects daily life and affect future plans, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Indeed the chemotherapy involved in the fight is somewhat of a beast all in itself. Side effects I experience regularly include: Neuropathy(loss of sensation in hands and feet), bloody noses, lethargy, blood from my "tail pipe", heartburn, loss of appetite related to nausea. Most of the side effects are temporary and only last during my chemo week but the neuropathy caused by exposure to Oxaliplatin remains permanent so far even though I have been off that stuff for a good 6 months or so.

well thats me in a nutshell for now......thank you in advance to any and all potential readers of this blog......support cancer fighters by wearing a yellow LIVESTRONG bracelet or support me by wearing a SuperNate "N" t-tshirt available for purchase at the following link: http://www.cafepress.com/mixedn8 .... a wonderful friend created this store for me so I can get a lil extra $$ to help me through my struggle because prayers alone cant keep the bills paid.....if you happen to make a purchase please take a picture of yourself with the item and email it to me or post it so that I can see it and save it......it would mean the world to me.........

much love

Nate

I am a survivor. Cancer is my foe.

I am a survivor. Cancer is my foe.
Although it waits most patiently. I'm not ready to go.

Many are the sunsets my eyes have yet to see.
A lovely rose, a blissful bird whose song enraptures me.

I am a survivor. There's still so much to do!
To taste, to feel, to see, to hear, time to spend with you.

I wear no badge of courage. My scars I would not bare.
But locked deep down inside, a memory lingers there.

For I am a survivor, I bless each precious day
And capture every fleeting moment that life has sent my way.

Tranquility surrounds me when gentle breezes blow.
Quite like the touch of kindness from whom I love so.

I am a survivor. There's so much need of me.
And what I have to offer, I'll do graciously.

My door will always open, if I can lend an ear
To soothe a hurt, to ease a pain, to calm a deepest fear.

I am a survivor. Death has no claim on me.
I know someday it will come my time and I'll go gallantly.

But 'til then, I am a survivor, there's too much life to live,
Time for caring, time for sharing; all that love to give!

Yes, I am a survivor. You'll recognize my smile.
You see, I am free just to be me, knowing all the while.

I AM A SURVIVOR.....